Netanyahu and Obama embrace "very nuclear" Iran
---- WASHINGTON, D.C. ---- "There has been too much loose talk of war" said U.S. President Barrack Obama today in his meeting with Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, "and too few loose acts of war." Both men agreed that "now is the time to embrace a very nuclear Iran." The announcement marks a sharp break from prior policy.
Sanctions will be lifted, and, according to Mr. Netanyahu "that's not all that will be lifting off." The two leaders set forth a plan whereb
Obama Downgrades Standard and Poors to Snitch
---- WASHINGTON, D.C. ---- Late Friday the ratings agency Standard and Poors, a subsidiary of The McGraw Hill Companies, Inc. (NYSE:MHP) announced that it has lowered its rating of certain United States debt from AAA to AA+. President Obama promptly responded by issuing his own downgrade of S&P to "snitch." "And their outlook is negative." Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner contested the downgrade. "We have enough disk space for lots more dollars."

Market Beaten So Hard Chart Even Looks Bad Upside Down
---- NEW YORK, NEW YORK ---- The Dow Jones Industrial Average today fell 512 points, marking its biggest one day drop since December 2008. Conventional wisdom dictates that when markets slide, turning the chart upside down might paint a prettier picture. Not today. Investors anxiously await tomorrow's key job report. In the mean time, everyone is praying that someone still has a job Friday.