Hamid Karzai admits clandestine role as Howie Mandel

---- KANDEHAR CITY, AFGANISTAN ----

Afganistan's President Hamid Karzai today admitted to Al Jazeera network that since at least 2003 he has appeared on United States television as "Howie Mandel," a popular Jewish Comedian. Sources within Mr. Karzai's cabinet confirm that "Hamid is Afgani for Howie."

Mr. Karzai's admission comes in the wake of growing unrest within the country, after several copies of the holy Qu'ran were flushed down toilets at United States military bases. "Relax" urged Mr. Karzai in a televised address. "The joke's on them when they get the plumber bill."