Months after Kim Kardashian's Fairy Tale My Little Pony Princess Wedding, imprisoned football hero and celebrity kidnapper O.J. Simpson finally learned of the union on television.
"I have done my best to keep up with the Kardashians" said a saddened Simpson. "I went to all the Shapiro kids' bar mitzvahs."
Mr. Simpson was able to maintain his composure even after discovering that Sugar Ray and Babyface were invited. But after Mario Lopez was seen in attendance, the retired 49ers star erupted in fury, cursing E! Network in front of other inmates.