Downed U.S. drone full of ground pork

---- TEHRAN, IRAN ----

An elite core of Iranian engineers carefully gained access to the contents of a crashed United States drone aircraft only to discover a quarter-ton of ground pork.

"You should have seen the look on Ahmadinejad's face" reported one Russian diplomat in Tehran, Sergei Ryabkov. "Too bad the main guy with the real beard was not there."

"We thought it was soy" President Barrack Obama apologized to muslims everywhere.